I am...... Voodoo Dawn......

What does that mean? It means I am the woman that no one sees.  Yes I know you see me, but do you really see me.  The inner workings of my brain from parent hood to spirituality it is a running commentary with no one the wiser.
I know that there are women, and men for that matter that find themselves lost and floating in a mindless sea of chatter that goes on in their personal thoughts, and no one knows them. I hope that by sharing my thoughts, my wisdom, my art, my belief's, my spirituality, I will touch some part of you and you will see yourself or the answer to something that haunts you.  If I help just one person, if I can lighten a burden or make you sigh in relief because you are not alone then I have done what I was meant to do.
My plan is to discuss in my own sarcastic and sometimes stream of consciousness way, everything from cooking, art, single parenthood, Voodoo,God, Goddess, pets, racism, growing older, being single and any other thing that pops into my brain at the moment. I hope we find ourselves........

The first thing I will say is that I am grateful and happy.  My glass is more than half full and I am excited to wake up every day.  I have two beautiful children, we have more than most, and we have LOVE.  Love is what is is all about, seriously I mean this with every fiber of my being.  Love is the greatest weapon and I work hard to live my life by this solitary principle.  Meet everything, every situation good or bad and every person with LOVE.  I am human and not perfect so on occasion I fail the theory, but I keep on trying.

With that said, sometimes I feel lost, afloat on a sea of dichotomy.  What should I do, where should I go, who should I be? I know what I want to do....... Fear strikes at the heart when you want to run off and be a spiritualist in the woods but you have mouths to feed. I get up and do the same thing every day.  I report to work with my painted smile and my cheerful voice and I listen to the people and most are lovely, gorgeous individuals that I would not have met if not for my job.  At the end of the day I wander is there something more?  How do I impact their lives for the better?  Today the mother of a tenant came in and we had our chat about the entitlement of children.  I am fifty two and she is sixty four, but we think quite the same.  She watches her grandchildren who are approximately the same age as my children.  She had some great advise for me and I am sure the entitlement of today's youth will be a subject I will rant about, just not today.  As she left my office she was telling me about what she did for a living before she retired.  How she still has issue with who she is because she identified herself by her job.  Suddenly I am aware that I have identified as my career for a long time.  I worked hard and was ambitious, I started as a loan coordinator and within five years was a director of student financial aid.  This was a job I was proud of.  I worked hard to get there and had no degree under my belt and did not achieve it on the ladder of who you know but on good old fashioned hard work.  At the end of the day I went home thinking I had done something good at my job.  I helped students follow the dream, finance the education to grow into what they wanted to become.  I helped them get what my parents told me was a waste of my time and money.  In hind site I also think I felt like this was a thumb or more like a middle finger at my parents.  Look mom and dad you didn't encourage college, you wouldn't fill out the forms and despite your lack of support I made it!!!!!  In the end, the last college I worked for took the finance department into the corporate office and let all of my team go, me included.  part of me was relieved as I felt that this was becoming a shamockery as I rarely did anything to help a student anymore.  The problem is now I had no degree in a world that required one and I was suddenly overqualified to go backwards and just be an FA.  I was, am done.  Whats more some four years after the fact I still feel like I have not balanced this.  Even as I watch the schools I have worked for be sued, closed and drug through the proverbial mud.  I wish for those days back. I held my head high and was proud of what I did for a living.  I identified as my job and I am not sure how to get past that.  See I am a work in progress.... I do not want to identify as my job now.  I loath saying I am an apartment manager. I have taken a huge step backwards and live below poverty level for a family of three. But this is my now and I am grateful for it all the same.

I want to say I am Voodoo Dawn, a spiritualist, an Empath, a intuitive healer able to connect with your guides. A certified angel card reader, a medium, a light warrior. I am working towards this identity as Voodoo Dawn.

Today's lesson: release the work identity as this is not who I am, but what I do.  I am Voodoo Dawn.
Mother, artist, healer, light worker, crone, single parent, warrior of LOVE!

Be good humans <3