I am Voodoo Dawn.......
Today more by accident than design I have found that my blood runs quick with that of many witches. I can not begin to say what this means to me, I can feel my ancestors screaming with joy that they have been seen and heard and acknowledged after all this time.
My earliest memories are of having psychic occurrences and having day care providers cancel on my parents because I was strange or scary. I remember hosting a seance at the age of nine during a birthday party. There was an occurrence, activity and orbs of green and white that soared about the room, I was excited, promptly asked to leave and not play with those kids again. I remember bringing books home about witches and having my parents act like I had killed someone. As a child I never understood what I kept doing wrong, I was just being me.
When I was eleven we moved to Georgia and I hated it. I learned to love it but it was a rough start. I distinctly remember after a few small interactions having a talk with the parents. They let me know that this crap had to stop. I was weird, I scared people and I was to keep my self under control. Don't tell people the sex of the baby, don't tell people what you know. Don't talk to spirits don't read about witches. Don't.... Don't.... Don't........
I never understood why my parents where so freaked out and upset over me and what I could do. I learned to keep my mouth shut and eventually my gifts were used less and less. When I was 17 we had a seance and you guessed it. I facilitated the events of the evening. One of the girls had lost her boyfriend in a very tragic motorcycle accident. When we called him we heard every single part of that event the screeching of the tires, the crashing and bending of metal the screams of pain and his last words spoken. I don't know when I have ever been so upset, scared, sad broken, it was horrible.
In that moment I renounced my gifts and stopped using them.
I really had no concept of how to process death or that I was a natural medium, an empath, a witch.
The things I knew and could do were frightening and I had no one to help me understand and process what my gifts were and how to use them.. It took me another ten years to start to use any of the gifts again and start to see them as gifts. I now fully embrace who and what I am.
Some years ago my sister had a experience with a spirit, and before long we were having a conversation about our heritage and who in the family had gifts. Our daddy is not very forthcoming and believes if you don' see it or talk about it then it is not real. years after this conversation I was reunited with my uncle from my fathers side. By chance and strange synchronicity he saw a post and responded in private message with terminology that is used by a witch. I will make this clear he renounces witch craft and is more than uncomfortable with the subject. I attempted to tell him I am a light worker and fight on the side of love. I don't think he fully accepts this, I was hearing the same freaked out panic my parents had in my youth. Walking a line I remember all to well I asked the question.
"is it in my blood uncle? please tell me" It is he said.... I have seen the book ancient and old passed down from woman to woman and when one dies another comes to get it and keep it alive. I remember it was so old it covered generations gone back from England and Ireland before we ever came here. I have seen things I never want to talk about. This was where I stopped pushing him, he was in obvious emotional distress and I could not keep asking questions. In my ear I can hear my grandmother saying "welcome home child you are of our blood, the witch runs quick in your veins. The book is lost to me, it has gone to those who had girls in that generation and rightfully so. This is not a disappointment, for I have more than the book, I have the blood of the Gill Witch line in my veins and the spirit of the ancestors whispering in my ear. I have been found today and returned to my birth right in the tribe of the Witch.....
I am Voodoo Dawn..................
Friday, August 21, 2015
Monday, August 17, 2015
I am...... Voodoo Dawn......
What does that mean? It means I am the woman that no one sees. Yes I know you see me, but do you really see me. The inner workings of my brain from parent hood to spirituality it is a running commentary with no one the wiser.
I know that there are women, and men for that matter that find themselves lost and floating in a mindless sea of chatter that goes on in their personal thoughts, and no one knows them. I hope that by sharing my thoughts, my wisdom, my art, my belief's, my spirituality, I will touch some part of you and you will see yourself or the answer to something that haunts you. If I help just one person, if I can lighten a burden or make you sigh in relief because you are not alone then I have done what I was meant to do.
My plan is to discuss in my own sarcastic and sometimes stream of consciousness way, everything from cooking, art, single parenthood, Voodoo,God, Goddess, pets, racism, growing older, being single and any other thing that pops into my brain at the moment. I hope we find ourselves........
The first thing I will say is that I am grateful and happy. My glass is more than half full and I am excited to wake up every day. I have two beautiful children, we have more than most, and we have LOVE. Love is what is is all about, seriously I mean this with every fiber of my being. Love is the greatest weapon and I work hard to live my life by this solitary principle. Meet everything, every situation good or bad and every person with LOVE. I am human and not perfect so on occasion I fail the theory, but I keep on trying.
With that said, sometimes I feel lost, afloat on a sea of dichotomy. What should I do, where should I go, who should I be? I know what I want to do....... Fear strikes at the heart when you want to run off and be a spiritualist in the woods but you have mouths to feed. I get up and do the same thing every day. I report to work with my painted smile and my cheerful voice and I listen to the people and most are lovely, gorgeous individuals that I would not have met if not for my job. At the end of the day I wander is there something more? How do I impact their lives for the better? Today the mother of a tenant came in and we had our chat about the entitlement of children. I am fifty two and she is sixty four, but we think quite the same. She watches her grandchildren who are approximately the same age as my children. She had some great advise for me and I am sure the entitlement of today's youth will be a subject I will rant about, just not today. As she left my office she was telling me about what she did for a living before she retired. How she still has issue with who she is because she identified herself by her job. Suddenly I am aware that I have identified as my career for a long time. I worked hard and was ambitious, I started as a loan coordinator and within five years was a director of student financial aid. This was a job I was proud of. I worked hard to get there and had no degree under my belt and did not achieve it on the ladder of who you know but on good old fashioned hard work. At the end of the day I went home thinking I had done something good at my job. I helped students follow the dream, finance the education to grow into what they wanted to become. I helped them get what my parents told me was a waste of my time and money. In hind site I also think I felt like this was a thumb or more like a middle finger at my parents. Look mom and dad you didn't encourage college, you wouldn't fill out the forms and despite your lack of support I made it!!!!! In the end, the last college I worked for took the finance department into the corporate office and let all of my team go, me included. part of me was relieved as I felt that this was becoming a shamockery as I rarely did anything to help a student anymore. The problem is now I had no degree in a world that required one and I was suddenly overqualified to go backwards and just be an FA. I was, am done. Whats more some four years after the fact I still feel like I have not balanced this. Even as I watch the schools I have worked for be sued, closed and drug through the proverbial mud. I wish for those days back. I held my head high and was proud of what I did for a living. I identified as my job and I am not sure how to get past that. See I am a work in progress.... I do not want to identify as my job now. I loath saying I am an apartment manager. I have taken a huge step backwards and live below poverty level for a family of three. But this is my now and I am grateful for it all the same.
I want to say I am Voodoo Dawn, a spiritualist, an Empath, a intuitive healer able to connect with your guides. A certified angel card reader, a medium, a light warrior. I am working towards this identity as Voodoo Dawn.
Today's lesson: release the work identity as this is not who I am, but what I do. I am Voodoo Dawn.
Mother, artist, healer, light worker, crone, single parent, warrior of LOVE!
Be good humans <3
What does that mean? It means I am the woman that no one sees. Yes I know you see me, but do you really see me. The inner workings of my brain from parent hood to spirituality it is a running commentary with no one the wiser.
I know that there are women, and men for that matter that find themselves lost and floating in a mindless sea of chatter that goes on in their personal thoughts, and no one knows them. I hope that by sharing my thoughts, my wisdom, my art, my belief's, my spirituality, I will touch some part of you and you will see yourself or the answer to something that haunts you. If I help just one person, if I can lighten a burden or make you sigh in relief because you are not alone then I have done what I was meant to do.
My plan is to discuss in my own sarcastic and sometimes stream of consciousness way, everything from cooking, art, single parenthood, Voodoo,God, Goddess, pets, racism, growing older, being single and any other thing that pops into my brain at the moment. I hope we find ourselves........
The first thing I will say is that I am grateful and happy. My glass is more than half full and I am excited to wake up every day. I have two beautiful children, we have more than most, and we have LOVE. Love is what is is all about, seriously I mean this with every fiber of my being. Love is the greatest weapon and I work hard to live my life by this solitary principle. Meet everything, every situation good or bad and every person with LOVE. I am human and not perfect so on occasion I fail the theory, but I keep on trying.
With that said, sometimes I feel lost, afloat on a sea of dichotomy. What should I do, where should I go, who should I be? I know what I want to do....... Fear strikes at the heart when you want to run off and be a spiritualist in the woods but you have mouths to feed. I get up and do the same thing every day. I report to work with my painted smile and my cheerful voice and I listen to the people and most are lovely, gorgeous individuals that I would not have met if not for my job. At the end of the day I wander is there something more? How do I impact their lives for the better? Today the mother of a tenant came in and we had our chat about the entitlement of children. I am fifty two and she is sixty four, but we think quite the same. She watches her grandchildren who are approximately the same age as my children. She had some great advise for me and I am sure the entitlement of today's youth will be a subject I will rant about, just not today. As she left my office she was telling me about what she did for a living before she retired. How she still has issue with who she is because she identified herself by her job. Suddenly I am aware that I have identified as my career for a long time. I worked hard and was ambitious, I started as a loan coordinator and within five years was a director of student financial aid. This was a job I was proud of. I worked hard to get there and had no degree under my belt and did not achieve it on the ladder of who you know but on good old fashioned hard work. At the end of the day I went home thinking I had done something good at my job. I helped students follow the dream, finance the education to grow into what they wanted to become. I helped them get what my parents told me was a waste of my time and money. In hind site I also think I felt like this was a thumb or more like a middle finger at my parents. Look mom and dad you didn't encourage college, you wouldn't fill out the forms and despite your lack of support I made it!!!!! In the end, the last college I worked for took the finance department into the corporate office and let all of my team go, me included. part of me was relieved as I felt that this was becoming a shamockery as I rarely did anything to help a student anymore. The problem is now I had no degree in a world that required one and I was suddenly overqualified to go backwards and just be an FA. I was, am done. Whats more some four years after the fact I still feel like I have not balanced this. Even as I watch the schools I have worked for be sued, closed and drug through the proverbial mud. I wish for those days back. I held my head high and was proud of what I did for a living. I identified as my job and I am not sure how to get past that. See I am a work in progress.... I do not want to identify as my job now. I loath saying I am an apartment manager. I have taken a huge step backwards and live below poverty level for a family of three. But this is my now and I am grateful for it all the same.
I want to say I am Voodoo Dawn, a spiritualist, an Empath, a intuitive healer able to connect with your guides. A certified angel card reader, a medium, a light warrior. I am working towards this identity as Voodoo Dawn.
Today's lesson: release the work identity as this is not who I am, but what I do. I am Voodoo Dawn.
Mother, artist, healer, light worker, crone, single parent, warrior of LOVE!
Be good humans <3
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)